During this quarantine, it is very easy to feel stuck in the rhythm of getting up, going to “work” in areas of the house, or even sitting in the same places on the couch day after day. You may be bored of this quarantine, but you don’t need to be bored of your spouse! Below are some ideas for you to try to make sure you don’t fall into boredom in your marriage!
- Communicate! I have never communicated more with my husband than while experiencing quarantine together. We discuss meal planning, what’s going on in the news, things that have happened during the day, and so much more. We don’t just update each other on what we would like to do—we synchronize calendars, think of socially-distant ways to see friends, and of course discuss our son! We’ve learned a lot about each other during this extended time at home, and it’s due to our deepened communication with each other.
- Cultivate intimacy! Intimacy is important in a marriage and is more than just physical. There are a variety of intimate ways to show your partner that they are loved and that you care: through your words, a simple touch, hugs, notes of affirmation, small acts of kindness, and more! There are also books and quizzes about figuring out your own and your spouse’s love languages. These little acts could help you and your spouse keep up your intimacy, especially if you’re looking for additional ways to stoke the fire.
- Pray Together. Prayer is so powerful. Now more than ever, you can see how both you and your spouse pray best. Prayer can be done personally and privately, but should also be shared together. Some people watch televised Mass, some couples have morning or evening prayer times, some read and journal together, and others have yet to figure out what works for their marriage. The point is not how much or how you pray, but that you do. Discuss it with your spouse and try introducing prayer together as an additional way to remain intimate; you never know how the Lord may work in your lives!
- Have fun together! Now’s the time to get creative. Pull out the old deck of cards and just play one night, surprise your spouse with a trip to a winery for some outside fun, plan a picnic in a nice park or outside on the lawn, cook together, try a virtual trivia night (they’re a blast, we know firsthand!), cut each other’s hair, watch a movie to celebrate the weekend, mutually decide to boycott the chores for a morning together drinking coffee, or come up with your own fun!
- Establish a ritual. A ritual can be a simple daily thing that makes you both feel good and that bonds you together. During the monotony of quarantine, traditions can be the saving moment of the day. This one is easy for my husband and me: we enjoy a tasty treat each night. We settle into the couch for the night, sometimes the baby has even gone to bed at that time, and we enjoy each other’s company and the yummy treat. We don’t do it without the other person and it’s a fun thing to wait for each day.
- Exercise! Whether you are a runner, weight-lifter, biker, climber, hiker or newly-integrated walker (like my husband!), exercising in some way can boost endorphins and leave you feeling better each day. It is also a great chance to catch each other up on your day and talk about things besides work or the kids.
- Get some sleep. Don’t underestimate what sleep can do for your marriage. Believe me, a grouchy wife is a miserable wife and when I am sleep-deprived, I’m at my worst. Getting a good night’s sleep each night helps keep you healthy, feeling better, and an added bonus is that you get to do it next to your spouse.
- See other people (on screen or socially-distantly!). Set up Zoom or Facetime dates with other couples or with your own separate friends. Being with your spouse can begin to tire if there is no one else to interact with, so be sure to stay connected and see other people from time to time! Chances are, some of your friends are feeling the same and would love to set something up.
My hope for you all is that you continue to seek each day as a new beginning together. You’ll fight and argue, there may be tears, there will be emotions, and you may not agree. But know that through God, all things are possible and even a joyful marriage in quarantine is possible if you work at it each day. Marriage is no picnic, but you can go on picnics together. Best of luck, I’m praying for you!
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